Saturday 21st July 2018

El Parrot and The secret cafe! 21/7/18

El Parrot awoke, he could not contain his excitement!!! He had a new RRCC top at last. There was a little nostalgia for the retro look but at least President Frump would approve! Assuming of course he wasn’t playing golf. At the roundabout the peloton assembled . Donnazetti had gone in search of the Hebrides, so it was with some surprise that Lady Rapha had managed to find her way alone, her skill at navigating again being evident the next day when Paul Nicol hall seemed to have hidden itself. President Frump announced ... Destination Cannich, despite half the peloton having been there on Wednesday ( he has a short attention span). This caused the Chef to turn pastry. Memories of the Coul na Kirk were still fresh in his legs. A direct route was promised and with evident relief the Chef set off at a rapid place. With no captain Rabbit to impose discipline , the Chef continued at rocket pace ( how many expressos? ). Right, after Beauly, left over the Black Bridge then up the bottling climb where the first signs of the Chef regretting his early pace began to show! A regroup after the hill and Iron Bru announced that 2 pints of the orange nectar for breakfast meant he needed a comfort break . Not being French he required privacy so the peloton should hurtle on and he would amaze everyone by rapidly catching up. Zoom zoom and soon Cannich approached . Crampon counted the seconds to his bacon roll, the Chef counted the minutes to his scone. El Parrot had a plan. President Frump, he said. You are riding really well you really must go a little further ,on to Tomich ! Indeed he replied. I am a breast , lead on ! Crampon muttered , the Chef whimpered,El Parrot grinned . On and upwards the peloton went and at last Tomich cafe was reached. The sole member of staff had a queue already but seemed not to mind yet more arrivals . There was an anxious moment when a lifetime ban seemed possible when Iron Bru , noticed some customers were being served water and not your other national drink and duly dispatched the tray to the floor. The Chef being last to arrive managed to be first served and pronounced the scone excellent, especially as it was the last one! Time to go and road seemed to go downhill, Excellent thought the peloton. Until Mount du Aigas approached, the Chef wilted ,onwards ,faster,said President Frump. El Parrot began to feel the strain! The whistle went, uphill he inched past Iron Bru . At least at the front he couldn’t be dropped. Faster and faster , the peloton shrunk , Iron Bru was drawn like a magnet to the 30 sign , President Frump drew along side El Parrot but the gap already looked too large . A press of the special button and President Frumps chain came off. Robbed he screamed , if only my Parlee was made in the USSR not the USA!!!!
After a regroup the peloton set of slowly towards Beauly when a young blonde lady with a rucksack overtook!!! Would maturity or testosterone prevail. Correct , she was toast( eventually!). At the Muir, Wavey waved and Crampon hiked. Lady Rapha pointed out that she only gets out of bed if her Garmin shows 100miles on her return. Thus President Frump invited her to accompany him via Aultgowrie, El Parrot felt obliged to act as a chaperone. The Chef headed home , having chef duties for the next day ‘s TT,
El Parrot realised he was now behind the Disco chicks so he kept his distance. At Marybank he took his leave . President Frump retired to muse on his event the next day and no doubt his speech and Lady Rapha made it to 100 and duly turned into a mermaid. El Parrot reached Parrot Towers and removed his top. Which version to wear next week? Watch this space.
El Parrot

Cast List

President Frump, the club President and frequent golfer
Crampon ,Kenny a climber
Lady Rapha, a mermaid named Lynne
Iron Bru , man of Iron,a follower of the triathlon cult( also known as Elvis)
The Chef, a chef called Ken
Wavey ,Davey who waves
El Parrot ,currently a Phoenix

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